Employee commitment is one of the most important HR topics for 2017. If commitment were brought closer to our everyday experiences, would it be easier for us to evaluate the reasons for own commitment and our ways to commit? There are a surprising amount of things in a relationship that can be applied to the employment relationship, too.
- What attracted you in the first place? First impressions are everything, image steers decisions. You may have got to know the object of your desires through a friend. You only see the good side: diverse, interesting, beautiful, stylish, modern, intelligent, sexy, “perfect”. Why now? Maybe your life situation was just right.
- How is respect created? Do you take others' needs into consideration, do you look at situations from their point of view? Sometimes we get too used to the other person being around and we don't pay them enough attention.
- Do we talk enough – or do we just assume on both sides? The needs of both parties change throughout the relationship. It's important to talk, because conflicts can arise unexpectedly if aims and plans are not discussed together. On the other hand, either party might change along the way. Does that mean the other party has to change also, or does the relationship change?
- How do I keep the relationship fresh? Routines bring security, and contentment with the present situation is enough for many – but can you get everything that you could out of a humdrum relationship? It could be time to try something new and different, rekindle the relationship through a trip or change everyday routines – the other can be seen in this light also!
- Are the reasons for committing the same now as in seven years' time? What are the long-term goals for the relationship, will the parties still want the same things in the future? As time goes on, sharp corners get smoothed down, do the parties already accept each other as they are? The relationship matures and stabilizes with time. Does this lead to boredom?
- Improvement through change? Sometimes it's worth leaving. One might be more inclined to leave than the other, there is no right or wrong way in this. One person leaves a bad relationship, another might fall in love unexpectedly. A more cautious person might need a little encouragement, whereas a more passionate person would do well to think twice to avoid regrets later.
- What is the cost of commitment? Have you ever thought why you made this choice – would there have been someone better available? Whatever I have committed to, do I have to accept everything as it is? And what kind of relationship stays alive – what can I do to nurture it?
- Monogamy? Is it really the only choice? It might be good for a relationship to try a little something on the side, by mutual consent, of course – if only we had the courage to give it a chance. “Different strokes for different folks" as they say, and any deviations from the norm should be agreed upon right at the start to avoid any surprises later.
- The most important thing in life? The meaning of a relationship is different for each one of us. When you can put the amount of effort into it that you believe to be right, then you can do it wholeheartedly and the result will be the best and most rewarding.
The commitment tip of the day: if you want to turn the idea of commitment in work to commitment in a relationship, try a four month trial period in your next relationship!